Candidates who replied, to be BDSM slave

Looking for and advertising for a female “partner”  for M/s, over the past years have been not only challenging, but makes me wonder just how many of these female candidates were for real, just playing or outright scammer. With some it is a total waste of time, even if you have patience of a saint.   I had the pleasure, if I can call it that, interactions via messaging, emails and even by Skype, but essentially all with the same results. One thing that stood out real quick is integrity, which is no longer practiced by most of these females.  Many were totally dishonest, with unrealistic expectations, very immature, trowing temper tantrums behaving like a five year old when the correspondence didn’t go as they would had like or wanted.  Accusing me of insulting them. When I replied to these meritless accusations, asked them nicely “show me by what I said that was insulting?” of course they could not.  Because I was respectful towards them. In other words, they could dish it out, but when I defended myself against their false accusation, if I could reply (not blocked out so I could not) they took that as an attack, when in realty they did the attacking. Deflecting their own faults upon me, hypocritically accusing me of lack of understanding when they were the ones. Insecure, full of false perception. Yet believing how could  they be wrong? Twisting my words to suit their narrative, showed their true colours. A lot of times, I just laughed at their moronic ways, and moved on. 

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience” holds true, but by not standing up, it shows that you accepted their false accusations.  When they gone too far, I let my perspective known.  Facts and honest intentions, just made it worse. What was sad in in some cases, I actually liked them, and we could had had a relationship that we both wanted! Offering to find a common ground, and to calm them by saying “I am sorry  that you felt that way, you misunderstood what I was saying and provided clear explanation, let us continue with a positive dialogue” all the sudden “I was one who was looking so desperately for their sympathy and to be in a relationship with them, or to have the last word!” In reality neither of these were true.  I just wanted to part in a friendly way.  Made no difference if they were in their 20s or even in their 50s, they had a chip on their shoulders. 

The most disappointing ones came from free sites such as CollarSpace (CS). Using their messaging system (DM) is terrible, and their private chat is even worse.  CS, is  populated with many scammers who send images stolen from porn sites trying to convince is that these are their images, and very insincere people in general, hiding behind the anonymity.  As for FetLife, or The Cage, the PM as in Private Messaging is much better, no stupid codes, proper special characters, and links and images can be inserted on FetLife. As for pay sites (if you are a male to reply one must for chats received) such as 121 BDSM and their affiliates, is just about a total scam. Full of scammers, liars, their profile images stolen from Facebook, Instagram,  X or from porn sites.  Do a Google Image search before you reply. And even then, if nothing is indicated they maybe stolen and not representing  the actual person. More about Google Chat, when I have the time and energy one day…

Candidate #1 CS.

Donna was a 22-year-old slave from Florida. She was looking for a new Owner preferably an older one, her previous 2-year-long ownership was terminated for an unspecified reason. She liked my ad. She claimed that she was willing to relocate had a passport and the cost is not an issue. 5’-6” 120lbs, B cup, dark blonde, only high school education, but her mother left her some kind of annuity and was well off.  No friends, no relatives, and she did not want any romance or love, only hard usage.

Ideal candidate, young enough that she is not too damaged, and seeking what I wanted!

All these details surfaced from a dozen DMs, back and forth and she did send a photo that confirmed her looks. She wanted to get over the DMs (since they are a pain as noted earlier) I suggested Skype, much easier, for one thing, you can have a video chat or just a chat without a video. She promised but never delivered on her promise. She asked me to chat on the CS chat, which is crap at the best. We tried but it was difficult for me to make a private connection with her since I used a desktop and she used a phone, which shows the application differently. She got frustrated as much as I did, and we agreed that it would be better on Skype. She DM-ed me indicating she is downloading it, and I sent her my Skype ID so we could connect, but that was the last communication. Obviously, she fund somebody much closer to her.  Too bad she lacked the integrity to say I found someone else, thanks for your time, and good luck! Within a week after that, her profile was gone.

Candidate #2 CS

Anna from Italy, 26 yr old,  5’-5” 124 lbs, looking for a Master to serve unconditionally, as her previous one died due to Covid. Interested in relocating. After a few DMs, she wanted to Skype, which to me it meant she was serious. She sent me her ID, and I connected with her. During our chat, I turned on the camera to see what she looked like, but she just cut the connection off immediately. I connected again and she claimed that on her laptop there was no camera, that was a lie, otherwise, she would have not disconnected from Skype. I do not like liars! After that she was inquiring about my place, apartment, house, etc, and if I work or not. In all my ads it is clearly stated that I’m retired and living on my pension.  She asked how big it was, I said it is a one-bedroom, and it is fairly big, not the typical shoe-box type that is so common these days. Located in a nice and safe neighborhood in Toronto, where private houses are in the $3 million and up, “Oh, no separate playroom, and no separate room for me?”— she replied. It was obvious she wanted a 50 Shades of Grey lifestyle.  Then she continued —“ was into corporal punishment and as a sex slave only. Not interested in any other type of servitude.”  She had a very nasty judgemental attitude too, as Anna suggested that “I just want a maid with benefits on the side, and she is not into the so-called 50s lifestyle.”  Before I could even reply to her she terminated the connection. In both cases she was wrong. At least this candidate did not waste much of my time!

Candidate #3 FetLife

Sui (pronounced as Sue), 22-year-old half Chinese (father) and white (mother) 5′ tall and 99 lbs. From New York City. (Not exactly my type, but I am open-minded, I do not judge the book by its cover!) She loved my photos and decided to apply, since she liked older Dominant man, and wanted to be owned for life. She would be happy to move it is not an issue. Furthermore, once she submits she is to obey without any questions and with limits as set by her Master/Owner. Thus we started out our PM. My age, location, that I am retired and many details about me including what I am looking for are 100%  spelled out. But that would require maybe about 5 minutes of reading, and understanding of what was read.  Obviously, she lacked cognitive comprehension, as essentially asked what was stated in my profile, and when it came to her accommodation in my apartment — “that would have created privacy issues(?) and stated she wants no drama” and terminated the conversation and immediately blocked me. OK, then I blocked her too. WTF!  What is wrong with these people?

Candidate #4 FetLife

Anna is probably a fake name since suddenly everyone seems to be Anna!!! 28 yr old from Ghana, responded to my ad. Are you kidding me? She is as far from being Caucasians as I am from being the King of England! Although I would be actually closer… I just wanted to know what was she truly after! Being curious by nature, I replied. She responded within minutes. Without asking she sent me two nude photos, one sitting in a bathroom on some kind of ledge (perhaps) and pissing with a huge puddle in front of her, and another just standing naked. Not exactly my type of female nor would I want anyone from Africa, unless real blonde, blue eyes Caucasian, 5’-7”  under 130 lbs with a perfect figure 36-24-36 cup C from South Africa. According to Anna her former Master just died, and she was willing to do anything… She gave me this sob story about being an orphan etc… It was either just a scam, to get money for her travel, which I would never do, by a guy using stolen images, or if she was for real just to get out of Africa. Once out that would be it. I replied to the candidate asking for her to send a photo of herself with a paper sign holding it  with this written on it “for my Master and the date.” She never responded so, it was just a scammer.

Candidate #5 FetLife

Susie 46 year old, nymphomaniac into black cocks, and group sex with black males, from Belgium. She wrote to me offering her services as a masochist at no charge if I help her to get to Canada. She mentioned that she felt that we would not be compatible, but I can use her sexually to get my sadistic desires out on her. She mentioned that she is probably not the person I would want as she is not loyal, etc. She was right, she is NOT the person I would want to touch with a 10 ft pole not the right candidate for me.

Candidate #5 THe Cage

She wrote me “Hello, Sir, I am looking for someone to own my body, mind, and soul. Most importantly mind since I’m a bit of an over  thinker and sometimes need help getting out of my own head. I want to constantly be in that headspace where I don’t have to think, just obey and serve. I’m interested in knowing more about what you’re looking for and what your limits are. I hope you have a wonderful day. Ali”

She was 25 years old from someplace in the USA. I responded with a fairly long reply, clarifying everything, it was friendly and a caring letter. Certainly not obnoxious, or assuming control of her from that second on. Since then she was never returned to the site or I received a reply. A shame…

Candidate #6 CS

A very good looking 43 year old from Latvia, who worked in the History department at the main University there. Everything was going well until she mentioned that she has a 16 year old daughter and she can’t leave her behind, and I should consider having both of them with me. Of course the M/s part would be only with her! I indicated that is not possible! Another time waster…

Candidate #7 

She was an enigma from day one and to this date as of May 2024…. Will she ever commit? I had several candidates between her initial contact and to date. Many I could not take anyone seriously, as they were just playing around but some were tempting. She remains my dream girl, nice to dream about her what could be and maybe one day…

She contacted me, although her initial contact ended up in the bulk mail, which I designated for males and couples. I’ve had too many males wanting to be my slaves, and a few couples too! By luck or divine intervention I checked it! “Hello, how are you doing ? I read your profile and I wonder if you are still looking ? and I have to say I live in Canada. my profile is not accurate”

No shit, it said:

Our initial contact did not go to far in establishing a relationship. She liked me, and sent a couple of images of herself and answered some key questions, but after that she just stopped responding. She went silent, but as she checked all the boxes I wanted I was not about to give up. She liked to avoid direct answers, I guess that is her nature. I gave her my trust but can she do the same? I would like that. I am left baffled… she just remains an enigma. I wrote to her that stated my disappointment in her behaviour, but no response, I wrote her off. 

XXXXX contacted me again in June 2022. She made up a profile on The Cage, and contacted me with the Cage messenger. Although she initially was coy, when I looked at her posted image it was she, the same sunglasses that it was on her first image sent. Her bio looked familiar too. I’ve replied noted, “I know who you are.” She apologized for her bad behaviour. We sent a few messages back-and-forth. I accepted her apology. She though I would be very upset with her. Actually I wasn’t just puzzled. WTF she wants? Why play games? Either she wants to be involved or not. I’ve asked her to sent me some images in a certain way she refused. I just wanted to see would she and can be taken seriously. She also deleted her profile next day. When I asked why did she do that? She replied she found what she was after. She is certainly a very good looking and bright woman! Most males would kill for someone who looks like her! Why would she want me with so many choices? She admitted that she likes me, “as I am the most genuine person she ever talked with, but she doesn’t feel we are a great match.” If that is the case why even contact me the second time?

I’ve sent her some images of my previous activities with slaves. She wrote that she could relate to them and she liked all of them. Could I imagine her on those images? I’ve replied it is her who should imagine herself of being my slave. I can not make her to be my slave, I can only build up her desire. It is up to her. If yes, just indicate it, and follow my commands.

She left for her home country for about a month in the middle of June 2022, and after that she will look for her “forever home” with someone who will give her the type of slavery she desires, when she returns.  She hinted that it could be with me. She also wrote on the way to to the airport that my images turned her on. Initially thought that they were from the internet, but realized that they were mine, and one particular image showed what she required, she wanted to be that girl!  And that is where we stopped for a long time, noting that the internet in her country was dreadful, but she will write when she can.  I received two very short emails from her about a week after she left indicating she was alive, has problems accessing the internet, and can I see her in the position?  She is in a very different country with so-so internet coverage and censorship. I replied, “Yes, I can!” she is who I want!

A lot of time has  passed. I did not hear anything from her for months. Was she dead? There were severe floods in the region she visited. She could be back? Changed her mind once again? I asked her via email for closure of the uncertainties. Does she want to be with me or not!? Yes or no? No reply, but later I found out that she read all my emails, and made her feel good!  Only time will tell. It is just unfortunate that it has to be such a stressful  process.  She makes me happy and sad at the same time. Why play such stupid games? She wanted a serious relationship, just like I did. Was her talk about “forever home and being that girl” her dream  with me? Will this ever happen? This makes me sad, not just for myself, but for her. She has serious commitment issues; 2 failed marriages, broken engagements. She has the tendency of running away from herself, in many ways a tragic figure, a person with a hurting soul. She should know no one can run away from themselves. One day she will realize what she gave up by abandoning me, if that is the case: my trust. I will never know unless there is a closure from her part. I never gave anyone so much time, try not to jump to premature conclusions about her! I used my time to see if I could verify her past with the few details I had. I was able to find some traces, and yes, whatever she told me about her education and profession were all true. I wrote an email  to her about what I found. She replied I did my homework well. She was surprised but not angry with me. Later on I receive an email that she is confused, does not know what to do. I offered my support, my understanding and help. She stopped contact me after that.

On Twitter, now X, she blocked me when I contacted her.  In December 2022  I sent her my greetings. Just before Christmas, she contacted me and wrote that she wants to do this, but her father is sick, and can’t leave him.  I replied, I wish him well, and just relax, if she truly wants our relationship, I am here.  For many months she was silent. Finally, she wrote, saying she does read my emails and it makes her feel good, but it so hard for her to join me, essentially, she can not.  Again, I offered my support, my understanding, and my help. I wrote many emails, but she remained silent. 2023 went by quickly. Despite our distance, I felt very close to her as we shared many things in common, and places where we both lived. She understand my culture, my background as she studied in my city of birth  in Europe. I understand her situation, and issues she faced in the past. In many ways we share similar history, as I am divorced too. I have empathy for her, and according to her, I know her better than she does herself! This alone gave me strength to go on in my pursuit of her. She is worthy of my time, despite the difficulties!

In 2024, she sent me two images  saying that this was not a fantasy for her, as I asked her about her intentions. Just very hard for her to leave her friends and family behind. It is never easy to make a commitment. However, she left her family and friends behind when she was married, and even when moved to the USA! I found out that she was back in Canada, in BC, setting up a new dental clinic. Her own private  venture with a partner.

That made it final.  So close yet so far away! I’ve been standing by her for over 2 years. for nothing. I never committed to anyone else, although one or two came close and it was tempting. Now I am looking again.

Candidate #8 FetLife

A strange reply more of a note from Camilla. She was from Denmark.  She liked my profile very much and she was sorry that I yet to find my young slave, with a smiley and her name. I’ve looked at her profile, she  would make a nice slave, attractive, young, a novice not many hangups just yet. I’ve thanked her for her remarks, and suggested that she apply. Deep down I knew it  would never happen. I was correct. Camilla wrote back indicated the distance, but mostly for that would entail leaving her friends and contacts behind. But she will think about. Which is a nice way to say “forget it”. My question was to myself: why did she even bothered to contact me if the distance was such a limiting factor? I do not need anyone’s sympathy.

Update, August 24, 2022: She contacted me on the 23rd of August when I revised my profile on FetLife. Most likely forgot that she contacted me before.

“Very nice profile Sir! I wish we didn’t live so far apart, since I really like what I read. But doubt that I can afford to relocate within a reasonable timeframe. I hope you find your unicorn that match all that you need 🙂 Camilla”

I’ve replied “Camilla, distance can be overcome, if you truly want to be my girl! Maybe I could help out a bit, I am not rich, I live on a pension, and I am very direct, honest and very passionate. Why don’t you try? What do you have to lose?”

Her reply was about as same as before “It might be too far away for me. I have friends and family here etc..
But I have to admit I do get tempted when I see a mature Dom talk about TPE and 24/7 and so on. And I can see an interest for Chastity Devices in the fetish list etc.”  

My reply  “Camilla, I am NOT just all talk! I owned slaves before, but due things beyond my control our relationships ended! Neither of us like internet play, but I am will(ing) to try with you only and maybe I can truly tempt you for real life situation. You could still be in contact with family… Realize what TPE truly is and what slavery is all about. If need help I am willing to explain :-)”

She replied ” If you ask 10 people about TPE you probably get close to 10 different answers. But I have an idea at least what it means 🙂 Perhaps you can tell me a bit about how it was for you?”

 I replied in detail in 2 parts. As I sent part 1 off, I noted about my sites. To which she replied “wow I will take a look at your website. But as you say, it’s quite extensive”

It took me in total 5 hours to type it up.I didn’t  mind it was a good diversion I stopped me thinking about  Candidate #7 XXXXX, while I was doing it.  I liked  Camilla, she had a nice young body, but she would not be my first choice.  XXXXX was older, closer to mine and we had so much more in common. I is not just about a slim young attractive body for me! I knew that Camilla was just playing around, just flirting. To her a much older male was very tempting, it was about feeling wanted, desired  but nothing more than just a tease! Realized that, she had no real interests in me, apart from the aforementioned.  I wrote her off, but to help her I sent her a link to with a note “https://diaryofyourdesires.com/ is my site you also can read about my feelings about TPE and all aspects, my failures an triumphs. Lots of poems of hope, pain, betrayal… life is just like that! You may even find yourself if you look deeply… Enjoy it!”

Instead of thanking me for spending so much time writing to her about TPE,  she wrote “Yeah about that site…
https://diaryofyourdesires.com/index.php/2022/06/26/candidates-who-replied-to-be-bdsm-slave/ Seems like you put me on a list of people that.. in your own words.. you can’t take seriously. Really appreciate that… :-(“

Now that was a strange twist, like she was ever serious with me?  Not one word from her indicated that she was, only flirting, teasing and even unfriended me. What the fuck she expected an ode to her? My words struck a nerve! Yup,  when one calls a spade a spade, they are the ones who are upset!  I replied in kindness ” Camilla when you contact someone, they respond back in a positive matter, and you write back sorry not interested as too far and I have friends and family here etc.. than YOU tell me just how seriously one can take you?? Think about if the situation would be reversed, how would you feel? And why even contact someone if you know upfront there is no way you will be their sub/slave? People have feelings they are not play materials. I did not wrote anything bad about you, I just stated the truth! Any how good luck to you and I hope one day you will find what you seek!

 And now she tried to put a guilt trip on me with a bit of sarcasm  ” Yeah whatever. Apparently telling someone that I like their profile is too much. Because everything MUST be turned into a dating attempt here, right? Nevermind… Good luck to you too and I am truly sorry for wasting your time on me. That was not my original intent.” Hm! I wonder what was then apart from teasing? Am I suppose to be a mind reader too?  WTF?

She could not just leave it  it alone.

“I am not throwing temper tantrums. I am just replying to your comments because I am polite that way. But I also already apologized for wasting your time, and we both said goodbye to each other. So I am wondering why you need to keep going? Because you must have the last word or something? Nevermind…” 

Once again, Camilla just proved how immature she truly was, certainly not ready for any kind of relationship where maturity and trust  are prerequisites.  “Nevermind” is one of the rudest ways to say I’m not interested in your opinion,  a very juvenile dismissal, in an attempt to look save face, because the second party, in this case me, demonstrated a valid and superior argument!  It is a very patronizing and negative slam. It says I don’t care what you think and I’ll blame you either way.  

My last attempt to help her to get over her juvenile attitude, to show her that this kind of attitude only back fires upon her. At this stage, I truly lost interest in her but still wanted to depart in a friendly way. I replied to Camilla  ” -But I also already apologized for wasting your time.” That was not an apology but a sarcastic remark, but you know what? There is no point trying to be friendly with you or caring… and speaking of having the last word, I can see that it must be important for you! Because you replied and my truthful words are hurting you! I am sorry for that, Camilla; that was the last thing on my mind! I’ve should have had just ignored you and not even replied to you liking my profile, this time, but I am not like that. BTW what I wrote on my website, was several months ago to my original profile. I’ve deleted my profile sometime ago because I’v met someone, and that situation changed….”  – I left out the details about  Candidate #7 XXXXX,

Well she could not leave that alone and wrote back,  ” …You are trying to win me back with sympathy or a guild trip or something? That is SO no ok!!..”

I did not bothered to reply, I just blocked her. I gave her the satisfaction of having the last word!! Camilla was the one who contacted me in both cases, and had a shit fit like a 5 year old, I did not! Camilla managed to prove beyond any doubt that in her case “I could  NOT take her seriously” my conclusion sadly then and now very true. They all love attention, makes them feel important, but that is all.

121 BDSM

This site and all their affiliates are full of phonies and scammers. The worst is that the site owners do not give a shit, as they are only interested in taking your money. One can complain to them through the Customer Service Reps, they are a joke! Hardly ever reply or help with an issue. They just point the Terms & Conditions. So do not join or pay to be contacted by phonies and scammers. In a year I was contacted by 300+ females, many used stolen images from other sites, and when pointing these people out to the CSRs with links to the sites from which the images were stolen, they most of the time did nothing, although I succeeded with two or three deletions.  Very few on are verified users, and those who are get a check mark on their profile, if they submit a verifiable ID to the site. These verified people ore in very small minority and especially even smaller when it comes to females. Of course, it is relatively easy to ID the scammers when they contact you. Most of the time they use such a stupid sounding email for the Google chat favoured by them, that it is totally laughable. Here are some examples: “Rebecca Love, dorofovo ponoroto, only love, Disturbed Disturbed, Mgha Asms, Comfort William, Majesty Pleasure, Rita lovely, Pretta Loudest, keep sex, ” etc. While a few will try to use normal sounding names  such as Shannon Parker, Gloria Smart (actually a very dumb one), Felisa Perry (forged DL),

Lauren Hunter (a total liar who tried to hack into my Telegram account)

Then we have those who use multiple names but in reality it is the same person who use just about the same script and replies, always try to avoid questions about their background, yet they want to know everything about you. One way is to force then to use the built in video chat/phone for free. If they refuse to turn the camera on they are certainly not the one whose images they sent you. Some will talk on the free phone feature, but their voice sounds just like another one’s, the same accent and mannerism. One named  “tennybale” tried to pass herself of as Kaley Kade, the porn start, went as far as setting up a fake Twitter now X account in her name. This person also used the name “Benita Woode”, and tried to pass herself as a female welder. She/he? hacked into somebodies account to get some images of the welder. However, the style of writing, lack of grammar, and using terms not used in North America, indicated that this person was in Africa. One of the mostly used images are of the porn star Ava Addams over a dozen used them, another one is of Paris White again about a dozen times, she has very distinguishable rose tattoo on her left shoulder and arm, shown below. Always do an Google image search!

Paris White porn star

Then look out for the Jumio scam! This can be very expensive if they get hold of your credit card, and can take weeks of phone calls and emails to your credit card company to reverse the charges. See example below. The scam goes like this. “I will meet you for a date in a public place of course but first you must get the Jumio Verification”. A phoney link will be sent to you, that will promise it only cost $2.99 and want you credit card info. After that they will charge several adult website subscription fees to it and want more funds in several steps from you, using such money transfer services as PayPal or Wise, and your account number in order to get the Jumio ID card! Do not fall for this! The only thing will happen is the bitch or prick who sent you the link will get your money or a fat commission from the adult sites.

Of course some use a different tactic, they sound very nice at first, try to feel you out, how is your financial situation etc, and then they want gift cards for their upcoming birthday only 5 or 6 days from their initial contact! Of course without any proof of real ID. Then you have the “I need money for my cell phone minutes, my phone is not working well, medication for my sick grandma, or need grocery money” and the excuses are endless. All within a few chat exchanges. If you ask for their number, to call them willing to pay for the long distance charges, of course the phone doesn’t work. When you call them on their scam the they will first try to put the blame on you that it was you who tried to scam them and you Photoshoped their fake IDs, or just get very nasty to you and call you all kinds of names. All you can do is to block them scammers as soon as you feel they are trying to scam you. It is interesting many will block you when you point out their stolen images! How dare you to notice!

A candidate who deserved a good lesson from life

Received several replies from my enquiries from slaves advertising on CS. But all where just time wasters, they do not know what they want or were scammers. One of them truly stood out you can read about Miss A here, she truly had her own category. I’ve found by my own experience when a candidate refuses to give verifiable details about herself and is just hiding behind the Skype ID or the anonymity of a made up name on an email or chat, it only means that are not serious or just are scammers. But scammers from Africa are very common on all sites. Looking for older vulnerable people, let that be a man or a woman. Many fall victim to them. If they contact you on Skype without you sending your ID to them watch out they are scammers. Make sure that you place profile settings you un-check “Discoverability”. I may write a story about this, one of these days!

Conclusions: